That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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