ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
