I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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