your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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