Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
