ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
