her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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