I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize