I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
