...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I skipped work to stalk him.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
