ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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