Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
People in love make me want to vomit
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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