What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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