Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
