i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
