bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
