If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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