Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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