Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
