Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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