I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just pee around me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
