But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
