I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
