well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
