that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist