Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea

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  (720): Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea http://tfl.nu/2bz5
  Replies (9) Good night (2197) Bad night (620)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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  (978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds
  Replies (60) Good night (2873) Bad night (1137)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.

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  (540): i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low. http://tfl.nu/0dri
  Replies (14) Good night (942) Bad night (3826)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?

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  (810): omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is? (1-810): i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen? http://tfl.nu/lnp6
  Replies (17) Good night (3277) Bad night (835)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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  (205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9
  Replies (39) Good night (721) Bad night (3735)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for singing to me while i puked last night

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  (484): thanks for singing to me while i puked last night http://tfl.nu/ey2e
  Replies (9) Good night (5634) Bad night (1042)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?

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  (610): So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her? http://tfl.nu/wt2f
  Replies (31) Good night (1906) Bad night (4192)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.

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  (810): You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/18uj
  Replies (4) Good night (3509) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  "bouncy castle"

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  (919): what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl" (1-919): "bouncy castle" http://tfl.nu/3vde
  Replies (6) Good night (4167) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..

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  (330): he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder.. http://tfl.nu/5whr
  Replies (23) Good night (1163) Bad night (2226)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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  (805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (405)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die

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  (509): If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die http://tfl.nu/9v9m
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back

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  (775): Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back http://tfl.nu/jyyl
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.

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  (321): Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up. http://tfl.nu/21lu
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?

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  (816): I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't? http://tfl.nu/oexg
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (312)

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