I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.