I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients