:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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