it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
