i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
