Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sarcasm needs its own font
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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