I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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