i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
