You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
