Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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