Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
