Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize