if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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