Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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