You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
