the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have demons in me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
