Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My feet surprised me
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