YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
