OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
