I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
