I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
