She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your penis caused this!
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