I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
