I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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