I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
