we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
