the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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