i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
