I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
