my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
