I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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