Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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