what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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