im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why do cheetos always look like penises
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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