you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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