that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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