Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
