HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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