for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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