I bet he comes in French.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
