My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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