My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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